Jack Bauer should coach the Terps.

Seriously.

A head coach isn't just a coach, but he's also a General. And the job of a general is to by God get things done. Is there anyone, alive or dead, real or fictional, that has more expertise in the area of getting things done than Jack F Bauer (please say the motherfucking)?

Jack has extensive experience in the area of making hardened terrorists cry like babies while divulging every secret they know within a matter of minutes. That sounds like a guy who can easily handle 16 year old kids and make them want to play for the Terps, no?

Imagine if "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR" and "WHERE IS THE NUCLEAR FOOTBALL" became "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME THE VERBAL COMMITMENT" and "CALL OFF THE TRAVELING VIOLATION".

If you think that Gary's sideline demeanor towards the refs is belligerent, you ain't seen nothing yet. Not a chance that Jamie Lucky screws us out of the Boston College game last year by fouling Greivis out if he knows that our coach would have literally chewed his neck up and spit it out ala Dracula.

You might ask whether or not Jack has any experience with basketball and whether he could handle the areas of coaching aside from recruiting or berating refs. Unfortunately, given that Jack seems not to have the time to even poop or eat, we have to assume that he hasn't had time to learn the finer points of basketball. That being said, the fear he would instill into his players would be more than enough to ensure that they execute better than the 2008 Celtics.

In conclusion, Gary cannot recruit or beat Morgan State anymore, so therefore I posit that hiring a fictional TV show character would be a preferable course of action.