KEY MOVES: COROLLARY III

It’s that time of year again. That’s right, that favorite time of year for both you and me!

KEY MOVES TIME!

(Considering we have never done “key move” posts with any sort of schedule or regularity, ignore the aforementioned “time of the year” horse manure.)

Without further ado: 

KEY MOVES: COROLLARY III

I.) Using roman numerals for the sheer sake of perceived classiness is a key move. Might they think that you are channeling your inner Plato and Socrates? You’d like to think so. But they aren’t.

II.) Another key move is hatching plans. If you know a better way to plan, I’d like to hear it. Until then, let me tell you friends, hatching is the way to go.

III.) Being Jordan *expletive* Williams is DEFINITELY a KEY MOVE! Sadly, none of us at Says Thing blog or elsewhere in the entirety of the known universe can scratch this surface. Thus, leave it to the one that does it best. Do not try to be Jordan Williams, do not even think about trying to be Jordan Williams. If you do, you WILL suffer the most epically painful brain aneurysm ever experienced. You are a mere mortal, a futile human. Deal with it.

IV.) Now, this might be a bit convoluted, but making key move corollaries is a key move.

V.) In the same vein, being incepted into the bundling level is a key move.

(***Addendum: Being incepted is only a key move given the dream within a dream within a dream is executed by highly professional inceptors who understand the process of kicks as to revive you back to consciousness and not force you into limbo and thus turn your brain into mashed turkey jowls.)

VI.) Using machetes and other unnecessarily large knives to cut anything is a key move. You think that firewood is going to chop itself? You think that pumpkin is going to destroy itself? Think again, friends. Think again.

VII.) Another key move is throwing up the Roc symbol to assert your dominance over most any situation, finding commonality amongst like minded rap loving brethren, and reminding others that your knowledge of the HOV is deeper than their own.

VIII.) Having proficient amounts of lumens is a key move, for obvious reasons. If you need to put lumens on things in the daytime to make them even brighter than what the sun provides, you have GOT to be prepared. For example, check out this guy's excessive lumens! He is made in the shade...er...sun. Moving on...

IX.) Taking your pants off in public places and social situations, otherwise known as “dropping trou,” is a key move. Show off your naughty boxers with pride. No one will be weirded out, as long as you exude confidence and remember to do your laundry with relative frequency.

That's all dear readers. Until next time, may all your moves be key.