Ravens Sign Flacco

It's always good news when your team signs its first round pick. It's also good news when it signs him and it doesn't cause the commissioner to throw a shit fit cause young bucks is gettin' G's. The Ravens signed Delaware QB Joe Flacco for a nice sum of 30 million American dollars over the next five years. I have no idea what that does to cap space and all that nonsense, but I don't really care. He's only guaranteed about $8.something million, which isn't a whole hell of a lot. And if Flacco pans out $6 million a year is going to be a steal.

He's got the body to be a good QB at the professional level, he had the numbers in college, and from what I hear he has the mental capacity to learn a playbook and get his shit done.

But here's what I think will truly make him a good quarterback for the Ravens: The dude is ugly as sin.

Pic: Captain Caveman.

Just look at that face. And that isn't a candid picture taken by some fan. That's a picture taken for the team to use in this press release. Even trying to look his best, he is one unsightly character. He's the complete opposite of pretty-boy Kyle Boller. Hopefully his playing style is completely opposite Boller's. He wasn't charming the ladies all through college. Flacco had to be in the trainer's room, watching tape and improving his game. We won't have to worry about Flacco being seen with Tara Reid. His focus is gonna be game first, rich 23 year old second. And seriously, which guy do you want under center with two minutes left in the fourth? Andre the Giant's son or some Matt Leinart wannabe?