Look (he said, channeling the President-Elect), I'm not a real music reviewer. Those guys are invariably douche bags who think they're smarter than everyone because they break an album down instead of enjoying it. My tastes aren't discerning either. So here are seven (6) new CDs from this fall that I've decided to review, plus a bonus review! (P.S. that "so" doesn't logically follow from the previous thought. Deal with it)
Metallica, Death Magnetic - Somewhere along the way, Metallica stopped being badass metal artists and started to be giant pussies who got made fun of for everything they did - cutting their hair, crying about Napster, releasing St. Anger - so it's hard to remember just how good Metallica can be. They hadn't released a studio album resembling real music in a decade (some would say longer) so naturally there was both a) a lot of hype about this CD and b) less hype than there should be.
Death Magnetic was hailed as a return to the old days, and it lived up to its billing to some extent. It might just be the best thing they've done since Ride the Lightning, and I say that as someone that liked less than popular Metallica effords like ReLoad and S&M. The first single, The Day that Never Comes, is a preview of how the band got back to its thrash metal roots, but tracks like Unforgiven III are good examples of Metallica blending in its post-80s work. This CD isn't quite an all-time classic, but it's a damn good CD.
AC/DC, Black Ice - I don't mean to make AC/DC seem like Nickelback, but if you've heard one AC/DC album, you've heard them all. That's not a terrible thing, because what AC/DC does - loud, aggresive guitars, crashing drums, and screeching vocals, it does well. But there still isn't a ton of depth in their 30 years of collected works.
Black Ice lives up to that. It's not a bad album by any stretch. It's great if you want something really loud and aggressive playing on your iPod. Sure, Brian Johnson can't seem to hit those trademark high notes as well anymore, but that's what happens with age. Sure, there's nothing groundbreaking, but does anyone think that the Youngs are doing things that are the musical heir to Beethoven?
Akon, Freedom - I have no idea how to review this CD. It's good. I'm So Paid is my jam. I enjoy making ridiculous remarks that end in "right now na na". Whatever.
Kanye West, 808s and Heartbreak - I was initially inclined to dismiss/ridicule/hate this album, but after actually listening to it, I like it a lot. The Auto-Tune that he uses throughout and has fallen in love with is more than a little ridiculous. But some of the tracks on this CD are amazing. The use of the African drums as a contrast to the Auto-Tune is very good, and just like all his previous efforts, Kanye knows how to produce a killer track.
What Kanye does can be a little over the top. Or maybe a lot over the top. I believe that he himself called Robocop a "disaster" or something like that. But when he hits - Love Lockdown, Heartless, Amazing, See You in My Nightmare - the results are as good as what he's produced on earlier albums.
The Killers, Day and Age - I love the Killers. Everyone of their CDs so far has been really good, but each CD has been radically different from the last. Hot Fuss was a sort of techno-rock that used a lot of synth and was really quirky. Then Sam's Town went for the Bruce Springsteen vibe. Sawdust was a bunch of B-sides, and seemed to be a little bit more in the vein of Sam's Town.
Now there's Day and Age. This CD has horns, it has weird chanting, bizzare lyrics that are about being abducted by aliens. . .I don't know what to make of it. The Killers are over the the top, but I love it.
But why is this CD only like a half hour long? 10 songs? Really? I mean they haven't come out with a real studio album in two years, and that's the best they can do?
Guns n' Roses, Chinese Democracy - I think this must be the record which has been maligned before its release more than any other. After numerous false starts, and SEVENTEEN YEARS after their last studio album, Guns n' Roses - one of my all-time favorite bands - finally releases a new record.
Except it's not Guns n' Roses. It's Axl Rose and a Cavalcade of Guitar Players who Aren't Slash and Who Left in the Middle of the Project Probably Because Axl Rose is a Psycho. The only remaining "original" member is the keyboard player, Dizzy Reed. And as there were no keyboards on Appetite for Destruction, he's not really an original member, is he?
Chuck Klosterman had a great review of Chinese Democracy, saying in part, "Sometimes it seems like Axl believes every single Guns N' Roses song needs to employ every single thing that Guns N' Roses has the capacity to do—there needs to be a soft part, a hard part, a falsetto stretch, some piano plinking, some R&B bullshit, a little Judas Priest, subhuman sound effects, a few Robert Plant yowls, dolphin squeaks, wind, overt sentimentality, and a caustic modernization of the blues."
And that's absolutely true. You don't take 17 years to make 14 songs if you aren't something of a perfectionist (understatement alert), but in Roses's case it's incredibly true and obvious from listening to the record. Does Madagascar really need two minutes of audio samples from Cool Hand Luke and Martin Luther King, Jr? Is it neccessary for the credits to about half of the songs include someone on "orchestra arrangement"? Apparently the answer to these questions are yes.
That's not to say it isn't a very good CD. Maybe as a follow up to their smash hits from the late 80s and early 90s, it disappoints, but the mix of classic sounding rock songs and epic ballads is a fitting followup to the Use Your Illusion albums. Still, the CD feels at home today rather than a stale revival of what worked in the early 1990s. I'm just hoping Axl decides to cobble together another CD before 2025.
SPECIAL GUEST REVIEW BY ANOTHER SAYS THINGS BLOGGER, RITCHIE*
Britney Spears, Circus - Hey Andrew, do you seek Amy? Get it? Because the line is "If You Seek Amy"? And it's clever, see. Anyway, I definitely bought this CD.
*Not actually Ritchie, though true to life in both style and content.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Dave Neal Gets to Ride Up Front
because he's a good guy at sports?
Seriously, did Dave Neal just drop 17 points in 17 minutes against the #5 team in the country, on ESPN2, en route to winning the Old Spice Player of the Game? Was that a tryptophan induced hallucination?
As someone who absolutely talked TONS of shit about Dave Neal throughout the early part of the season, let me take this moment to extract my foot from my mouth and congratulate Dave "YMCA" Neal on his 27 points in the last two Terps' wins. Nice job, big man.
The Terps managed to rout Michigan State tonight by 18, even with Greivis Vasquez not playing his best game. Sure, he dished 6 dimes and grabbed a team-high 6 boards, but he also shot 5-14 from the field and played very poorly as Michigan State caught up to the Terps at the end of the first half. I am no Greivis hater, but the man needed to settle himself in the worst way for much of the game tonight.
Adrian Bowie came up huge all game, particularly in the first half, scoring 13 points in total while the other point guard, Eric Hayes, was huge with 13 points, 5 assists and 3 steals. Hayes looks a bit quicker this year and more aggressive tonight than he has in the past. The new spry Hayes can be a key asset on a contending Terps team over the next two seasons. And Adrian Bowie can shoot now (he hit three threes). His bandwagon is now filled, and I'm still in the conductor's seat (do they sit?).
I already mentioned how big the non-cyborg edition of Dave Neal was tonight, but Braxton Dupree played perhaps his best game of the season, scoring 7 points and grabbing 5 rebounds in a career high 31 minutes all while looking as active on both ends as he has at any point in his career. Michigan State is pretty damn physical (aka they play a garbage Big Ten style) so holding his own and staying on the court tonight was huge for Brax.
Now the Terps get to play another top 10 team in Gonzaga tomorrow evening, before facing either Georgetown (!!) or Tennessee on Sunday evening in either the championship or the third place game of the Old Spice Classic. Hopefully the Terps get the Hoyas because they're too scared to play us otherwise. Also - they aren't very good. They have little depth, and if the Terps got them into a track meet, Georgetown would lose.
Other stuff:
*Sean Mosley is pretty damn awesome. He might be the smartest player on the team - Dino and EHayes are also on that list, though the whole team has generally played smart ball so far this season. Twice he made plays that really don't translate well to an internets blog, one on a rebound and one on an assist. Since they won't translate well, I won't describe them. Rest assured they were real, and they were spectacular.
*Michigan State shot 44% from the FT line. LOL. That pretty much means that Tom Izzo could hire Ekene Ibekwe as his team's Shot Doctor (D.D.S) and improve them.
*Isn't Gonzaga always highly rated only to underachieve in the tournament? Why can't we win this game? Since we basically don't play anyone for the rest of the nonconference schedule after this weekend, winning one of the next two is still pretty damn important.
*Korean Durant got zero minutes tonight. I have no complaints about the rotation, but that made me sad. What's more fun than watching Korean Durant play ball?
*Is there something below the doghouse to describe where Jerome Burney is that is worse than "dog house"? Again, not that he really should have played tonight, but I feel like he might never see the court again for more than two minutes in a game.
*What is up with this bulleted list? Who do I think I am, a sportswriter? BRB, have 2 add more cliches. (The rhetorical questions were also trite and overused).
*I'm pumped. Fuck a Gonzaga.
*4-0-1 <3 Gary
Seriously, did Dave Neal just drop 17 points in 17 minutes against the #5 team in the country, on ESPN2, en route to winning the Old Spice Player of the Game? Was that a tryptophan induced hallucination?
As someone who absolutely talked TONS of shit about Dave Neal throughout the early part of the season, let me take this moment to extract my foot from my mouth and congratulate Dave "YMCA" Neal on his 27 points in the last two Terps' wins. Nice job, big man.
The Terps managed to rout Michigan State tonight by 18, even with Greivis Vasquez not playing his best game. Sure, he dished 6 dimes and grabbed a team-high 6 boards, but he also shot 5-14 from the field and played very poorly as Michigan State caught up to the Terps at the end of the first half. I am no Greivis hater, but the man needed to settle himself in the worst way for much of the game tonight.
Adrian Bowie came up huge all game, particularly in the first half, scoring 13 points in total while the other point guard, Eric Hayes, was huge with 13 points, 5 assists and 3 steals. Hayes looks a bit quicker this year and more aggressive tonight than he has in the past. The new spry Hayes can be a key asset on a contending Terps team over the next two seasons. And Adrian Bowie can shoot now (he hit three threes). His bandwagon is now filled, and I'm still in the conductor's seat (do they sit?).
I already mentioned how big the non-cyborg edition of Dave Neal was tonight, but Braxton Dupree played perhaps his best game of the season, scoring 7 points and grabbing 5 rebounds in a career high 31 minutes all while looking as active on both ends as he has at any point in his career. Michigan State is pretty damn physical (aka they play a garbage Big Ten style) so holding his own and staying on the court tonight was huge for Brax.
Now the Terps get to play another top 10 team in Gonzaga tomorrow evening, before facing either Georgetown (!!) or Tennessee on Sunday evening in either the championship or the third place game of the Old Spice Classic. Hopefully the Terps get the Hoyas because they're too scared to play us otherwise. Also - they aren't very good. They have little depth, and if the Terps got them into a track meet, Georgetown would lose.
Other stuff:
*Sean Mosley is pretty damn awesome. He might be the smartest player on the team - Dino and EHayes are also on that list, though the whole team has generally played smart ball so far this season. Twice he made plays that really don't translate well to an internets blog, one on a rebound and one on an assist. Since they won't translate well, I won't describe them. Rest assured they were real, and they were spectacular.
*Michigan State shot 44% from the FT line. LOL. That pretty much means that Tom Izzo could hire Ekene Ibekwe as his team's Shot Doctor (D.D.S) and improve them.
*Isn't Gonzaga always highly rated only to underachieve in the tournament? Why can't we win this game? Since we basically don't play anyone for the rest of the nonconference schedule after this weekend, winning one of the next two is still pretty damn important.
*Korean Durant got zero minutes tonight. I have no complaints about the rotation, but that made me sad. What's more fun than watching Korean Durant play ball?
*Is there something below the doghouse to describe where Jerome Burney is that is worse than "dog house"? Again, not that he really should have played tonight, but I feel like he might never see the court again for more than two minutes in a game.
*What is up with this bulleted list? Who do I think I am, a sportswriter? BRB, have 2 add more cliches. (The rhetorical questions were also trite and overused).
*I'm pumped. Fuck a Gonzaga.
*4-0-1 <3 Gary
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Terps Preseason Wrap-Up
Saturday in College Park the Terps put it on the glass against D-III opponent Northwood, beating them 104-60. It was the first time since the 06-07 season that the Terps scored 50 or more in a half and also the first time since 06-07 that they scored more than 100 in a game. Of course, this was expected considering the opponent. Except, of course, that this is Maryland sports and we're always good to play down to competition. It was good to see the Terps actually play well and roll an opponent that they should roll. It's hard to truly tell how the Terps will do this year as they played clearly inferior competition. But hopefully they can continue to build from this game and continue to improve into ACC play.
A few thoughts and notes on the game:
I'm probably taking the over.
A few thoughts and notes on the game:
- For a Saturday game at 2:00 PM the student attendance was fairly good. The court sections were mostly full and the wall was about 1/3 full for most of the game. Considering the opponent, the score, and the time, I'd day things weren't too bad. Hopefully this bodes well for fan support this year and a decline in the scan and leavers. (It won't, but a boy can dream, can't he?) Paid attendance, however, was atrocious. It was probably easier to count the fans there than the fans not there. Can I blame them? Yes. This is Maryland Basketball.
- Speaking of Maryland Basketball, here's my favorite quote of a certain G. Williams, said after the Oct. 29th scrimmage: This is [expletive] Maryland. This is your [expletive] school. This is my [expletive] school. This is where we won a [expletive] national championship.
- Robert Ehsan, Maryand's new full time coach looks like a sharp cat. Also, I use terms from the 50s. He's pretty much had all his coaching experience under Gary. He graduated from UC Davis in 2005 and has been on the Terps staff since then. He's learn to emulate the master insofar as he even has the Gary Williams crouch. I could see big things from him.
- The announcer needs to announce Keith Booth last on the list of assitance coaches. Currently, he's named right before Rob Ehsan, and I feel like i'm not given enough time to shout "BOOOOOOOOOOOTH." I will now go back in my hole.
- Greivis Vasquez, who did not play Saturday due to violating some rule, looks good in a suit. Let's hope not to see it again until Draft Day 2009.
- Landom Milbourne is good. He looks like he may finally be living up to his potential. He showed hot flashes at times last year but was anything but consistent with it. His ability to slash and drive to the basket is enhanced by his much improved ability to finish. Add to that his nice outside shot and the Terps have a good upperclassman to take some of the offensive workload off of Greivis.
- Thank you, NCAA for not screwing us over on Jin Soo Kim. Kim looks like the real deal as a recruit. He has a nice shot and has the muscle and size to get to the basket and finish. Although he missed all but one of his threes, I'll give him a pass because he's probably still getting used to the longer distance. All of his shots were at least on target and hit the back of the rim. He looked a tad slow playing the two, but that also could be chalked up to him only beginning practice last week. He often looked confused on defense in the first half, but by the time the second half rolled around, he had found his rhythm on both sides of the court.
- Adrian Bowie has a jumper. ACC, you have been warned.
- Maybe it's because we don't have the talented big men any more, but it almost seems like we're getting more rebounds. My theory: Because we don't have Gist and Boom to rely on anymore to get the ball, our guards and "big" men are trying harder for to get the ball. This could be a good thing.
- Braxton Dupree, who lost a lot of weight over the summer and really shaped up, showed a lot of hustle. He needs to go up stronger around the basket, but he grabbed a lot of tough rebounds and showed signs as to why he was a four star recruit.
- That being said, our front court will not be pretty. Outside of Landon, the Terps don't have any solid inside man. We all knew this coming into the season, but it's even more evident when it's seen in person. Burney really has no offensive presence. Gregory will get more play, and although he has a mid-range jumper, he doesn't show much of the inside game. Steve Goins actually looked decent, but he's in Braxton Dupree condition Circa 2007. And of course, Dave Neal is Dave Neal. Let's hope Gary employs the four guard offense.
I'm probably taking the over.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Terps Terps Terps
Have you seen the preseason college basketball publications? They all seem to agree that the Terps are going to finish in the bottom half of the lig this season. The Sporting News even went so far as to pick Maryland dead last in the ACC. That's nearly unfathomable for a program that finished tied for 5th in the conference last season, even while having its worst team in about 15 years.
It's easy to be pessimistic about the coming season, but I'm not having any of that. And neither is Gary Williams, who will be saying Hi Hater to all the naysayers when March rolls around. Don't believe me? Here are five reasons why this team will dance in March.
5. Adrian Bowie is a year older and a year better.
I'm a big fan of Adrian Bowie to say the least. He can handle the ball, he can score, and he can defend. He's already one of the best finishers in the league, to the point that it's often amazing to see how he contorts his body to score in traffic. The one thing that held him back from a breakout season last year was his complete inability to shoot, but if early indications from scrimmages are correct, Bowie has worked hard to correct that flaw in his game. The threes fell for him in three intersquad scrimmages, and if that continues, he will be an All-ACC player by his Junior season.
4. The ACC sucks
Sure, there's UNC, the prohibitive favorites to win the National Championship, but then what? Duke should be very good, but they're far from a team that imposes fear in the hearts of opponents now that Ratface has stopped recruiting post players. Wake Forest is being picked by many to finish third, but they failed to even make the NIT last season. Miami should be good, but that's a one man show with Jack McClinton and no one else of note. Virginia Tech? Good one. The top two spots should be reserved for UNC and Duke, but the Terps can be better than any of the other teams in the conference this season.
3. Sugar Sean Mosley and Korean Durant
Sean Mosley is good at basketball. I hate to talk about intangibles (except when mocking Cap'n Jetes!), but Mosley has them. What I mean is that I couldn't really explain to you why he's good, at least not properly. Sure, he has certain skills, but more than that, he will be one of those guys that has a knack for making plays and doing what the team needs to win. He's an excellent scorer (second all-time among Maryland HS players) who will also hustle for 40 minutes. He's a "Gary Williams player". Think Juan Dixon. Think Greivis Vasquez.
Korean Durant (a/k/a Jin Soo Kim a/k/a Jin Soo Choi) is the greatest person ever to hail from South Korea, and the first to play DI basketball. He led all scorers (along with Landon Milbourne) with 20 points in the Terps exhibition rout of Northwood. Kim's shot was not falling (1-6 from three), but he poured in 18 points in the second half by taking the ball to the hoop. That's impressive for a guy that was supposed to be a three point specialist. Kim also showed great smarts and passing ability. Combine those attributes with a 6-8 frame and you have a potential breakout star.
2. Matchups
This team does not have good big men. Braxton Dupree shed a ton of weight, and should be much improved, but he won't be Lonny Baxter just yet. After that, things are thin at best. Dave Neal will play, but shouldn't. Jerome Burney is an athletic shot blocker, but he'll need to be more than that to play major minutes. Dino Gregory could be improved and ready to play, but he's small. Steve Goins can't crack the lineup in scrimmages.
Gary Williams has said that this team may play a "four guard" lineup with Landon Milbourne sliding to the four to get more of the team's guard depth on the floor. Now some will wonder if Milbourne can keep up with ACC power forwards, but let's turn it around - can they stay with him? Milbourne didn't have a breakout season last year, but he is a very athletic player at 6'6" or so who can hit the three very well. Going small might have its disadvantages, but ask Duke if it dooms you.
1. Greivis Vasquez
Greivis Vasquez will probably go down in Maryland history as the most under-appreciated star in program history. Coming off a 2nd team All-ACC selection (which should have been a first team selection), Vasquez might be gone after this season. But boy can he play. He hasn't yet got a triple-double, but he will. He drops dimes, grabs boards, and scores in many different ways. People who focus on the turnovers or the missed shots are missing the point like a free throw. Vasquez is skilled floor leader who gives 100% every time out. If this is his last year in the Red & White, I'm going to enjoy it.
Still not convinced?
Maryland Basketball is going to be back on the map (Your boy back in the building, Brooklyn we back on the map / Me and my beautiful beeeeeeeitch in the back of that 'Bach).
It's easy to be pessimistic about the coming season, but I'm not having any of that. And neither is Gary Williams, who will be saying Hi Hater to all the naysayers when March rolls around. Don't believe me? Here are five reasons why this team will dance in March.
5. Adrian Bowie is a year older and a year better.
I'm a big fan of Adrian Bowie to say the least. He can handle the ball, he can score, and he can defend. He's already one of the best finishers in the league, to the point that it's often amazing to see how he contorts his body to score in traffic. The one thing that held him back from a breakout season last year was his complete inability to shoot, but if early indications from scrimmages are correct, Bowie has worked hard to correct that flaw in his game. The threes fell for him in three intersquad scrimmages, and if that continues, he will be an All-ACC player by his Junior season.
4. The ACC sucks
Sure, there's UNC, the prohibitive favorites to win the National Championship, but then what? Duke should be very good, but they're far from a team that imposes fear in the hearts of opponents now that Ratface has stopped recruiting post players. Wake Forest is being picked by many to finish third, but they failed to even make the NIT last season. Miami should be good, but that's a one man show with Jack McClinton and no one else of note. Virginia Tech? Good one. The top two spots should be reserved for UNC and Duke, but the Terps can be better than any of the other teams in the conference this season.
3. Sugar Sean Mosley and Korean Durant
Sean Mosley is good at basketball. I hate to talk about intangibles (except when mocking Cap'n Jetes!), but Mosley has them. What I mean is that I couldn't really explain to you why he's good, at least not properly. Sure, he has certain skills, but more than that, he will be one of those guys that has a knack for making plays and doing what the team needs to win. He's an excellent scorer (second all-time among Maryland HS players) who will also hustle for 40 minutes. He's a "Gary Williams player". Think Juan Dixon. Think Greivis Vasquez.
Korean Durant (a/k/a Jin Soo Kim a/k/a Jin Soo Choi) is the greatest person ever to hail from South Korea, and the first to play DI basketball. He led all scorers (along with Landon Milbourne) with 20 points in the Terps exhibition rout of Northwood. Kim's shot was not falling (1-6 from three), but he poured in 18 points in the second half by taking the ball to the hoop. That's impressive for a guy that was supposed to be a three point specialist. Kim also showed great smarts and passing ability. Combine those attributes with a 6-8 frame and you have a potential breakout star.
2. Matchups
This team does not have good big men. Braxton Dupree shed a ton of weight, and should be much improved, but he won't be Lonny Baxter just yet. After that, things are thin at best. Dave Neal will play, but shouldn't. Jerome Burney is an athletic shot blocker, but he'll need to be more than that to play major minutes. Dino Gregory could be improved and ready to play, but he's small. Steve Goins can't crack the lineup in scrimmages.
Gary Williams has said that this team may play a "four guard" lineup with Landon Milbourne sliding to the four to get more of the team's guard depth on the floor. Now some will wonder if Milbourne can keep up with ACC power forwards, but let's turn it around - can they stay with him? Milbourne didn't have a breakout season last year, but he is a very athletic player at 6'6" or so who can hit the three very well. Going small might have its disadvantages, but ask Duke if it dooms you.
1. Greivis Vasquez
Greivis Vasquez will probably go down in Maryland history as the most under-appreciated star in program history. Coming off a 2nd team All-ACC selection (which should have been a first team selection), Vasquez might be gone after this season. But boy can he play. He hasn't yet got a triple-double, but he will. He drops dimes, grabs boards, and scores in many different ways. People who focus on the turnovers or the missed shots are missing the point like a free throw. Vasquez is skilled floor leader who gives 100% every time out. If this is his last year in the Red & White, I'm going to enjoy it.
Still not convinced?
Maryland Basketball is going to be back on the map (Your boy back in the building, Brooklyn we back on the map / Me and my beautiful beeeeeeeitch in the back of that 'Bach).
Friday, October 17, 2008
A good old fashion rant.
Right-handers of the world, there are more of you. We left-handers understand this and deal accordingly. We frequently conform to your world (e.g. scissors, computer mice, handshakes, et al). Again, we understand this and deal accordingly. But, there is one injustice I will not stand for, and that is the plight of desk selection for every left-handed person in a lecture hall or classroom.
I frequently enter my classrooms and quickly scan the landscape of backwards-hat-laden, headphone-plugged-in drones and tight tee-shirt-wearing, thong-revealing clones to find the only left-handed desks in the whole room already occupied.
My thought process often begins by giving these folks the benefit of the doubt, considering that maybe, just maybe, they use these left-handed desks for their properly created and intended purposes. I mean, I am not out to criticize my fellow left-handed brethren and sistren. Plus, I consider myself rather levelheaded and polite.
So I let it go, and take my right-handed desk elsewhere, pushing past swiveled legs with my swollen backpack, apologizing for making them shift and lift their desk out of my way.
A few minutes into lecture, I frequently find myself disappointed with my own good graces toward said left-handed-desk-hoarding students. The majority of them end up being right-handed, many using these seats to sit near their equally right-handed chums.
As I sit there, taking notes in a scrawled and crooked position (somewhat resembling a Cirque du Soleil contortionist), my back twists and tightens. And with each uncomfortable maneuver to alleviate the muscle spasm brewing in my lower lumbar region, I am reminded that I could be sitting in a desk better suited for me.
This is an unfair analogy; BUT, if it helps you remember, consider left-handed desks to be the “handicapped parking” of the classroom seating They aren’t for you. Please don’t use them. And, I’ll probably try to institute some ticketing and fine process on you if I catch you sitting there illegally.
They aren’t for your convenience, for you to sit near friends, or because you don’t want to be the person to push past all those people who awkwardly take all the seats near the aisle (another huge annoyance I might address later).
We lefties only get a handful of these seats (12 at most in the biggest chemistry lecture hall on campus, in my experience), and it means the world to us if you would so graciously MOVE.
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