My Favorite Non-Ravens

Let me preface this by saying that in general, these players all suck and I hate them.

That being said, I must admit, some of my favorite players in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE (Copyright 2008 Ron Jaworski) are not Ravens. Mind you, none of them are in the AFC North, but that's more of a result that the Browns and Bengals suck and I hate the Foremans with so much passion that his smug face pisses me off at all times. At all times!

So without further Maurice Edu, and in no particular order, my favorite non-Ravens are:

AFC EAST

Bart Scott - Ok, so this is borderline cheating because he was a former Raven and Ray Lewis junior, but I don't care. After he threw a ref's flag into the stands during the primetime game against the undefeated Patriots, I was forever enamored with him. Sure, he's a pretty good player and all, so it makes it easy, and but he's also a good reminder of how the Jets are now the kid brother of the Ravens, and that makes me smile. So do run-on sentences. (BTW, Rex Ryan lost this game for us due to his untimely time-out call right before a 4th down stop. Now he's a head coach. Good luck New York!)

Randy Moss - Straight Cash Homie

Pat White - He's such a great scrambling quarterba... wait a minute. He signed a MLB contract in August just before the season begins? Right when baseball is winding down? Seriously? I thought West Virginia didn't let in idiots. Guess I've learned a valuable lesson today.

AFC SOUTH

Commerical Pitchman Peyton Manning - Fantastic

4th Quarter Winning Drive Peyton Manning not playing my team - Amazing

4th Quarter Winning Drive Peyton Manning playing my team - SHEEEEEE-IT

AFC WEST

Champ Bailey - First, his name is Champ. Second, his brother's name is Boss. Upon further review, it's only a nickname. I don't like him quite as much now

NFC EAST

Clinton Portis - This

Chris Cooley - He once showed hit dick on his website, just because he could.

Dez Bryant - His mom's a hooker. True story.

Sexy Rexy - I completely forgot that he was with the 'Skins. He makes the list entire only the Rex Grossman Principle

NFC NORTH

Brett Favre - He's just a gunslinger. Such a kid out there, he loves playing the game. I want to have his babies and make love to his stubble, preferably in a pick-up, doing some American things. Good feelings, old people, pie!, bluejeans, David Eckstein, the way things used to be, good little ballplayer, heart, man of the people, love, wrangler, football.

NFC SOUTH/WEST

The Saints are the new Red Sox. Mark it now.

Vernon Davis - THE DUKE. He owns every Maryland weight lifting-type record ever invented. He's also seen Mike Singletary's boxers (we think that's all he saw). If he was a ref, he'd be Ed Hochuli (all praise be upon him)

Everyone else in these divisions is WOEFUL

Well there you have it, I've blogged