Ravens Listomania by Phoenix

I was driving to class this morning, and once again, there was no music on. I could have - nay, should have - simply plugged in my iPod, but I decided against that route. Instead, I made the sketchy decision to tune into 105.7 to catch some sports talk radio, in this instance Mark Viviano and someone calling himself O-dawg/dog (did not sound like Orland Hudson). Of course they were discussing the Ravens, and the conversation turned to Derrick Mason. At this point, my new pal O-dawg/dog proclaimed his undying love for Mason and said that Mason was one of the top five players in Ravens history.

Whoa.

That can't be right, can it? I love Mason as much as you can love a possession receiver, but he seems more Harold Baines than Jim Palmer. Sure, the Ravens are younger, but really? Clearly the only way to clarify the issue is a LIST of the TOP TEN RAVENS OF ALL TIME. And we're going to START WITH NUMBER 1 HOLY CRAP!!1

1. Ray Lewis - Could it be anyone else. The man has been with the team, and has really been the star of the team, since its first year in Baltimore. He has come to represent his franchise in a way that Cal, Brooks, and Johnny U did in Baltimore years ago, and in a way that few people in modern sports do (think: Jeter, Brady, Manning, Kobe, Pujols...and that's about it). More to the point, the Ravens have always been associated with defense, and probably will be for a long time to come, and Ray has always been the focal point and spiritual leader (if not the best every single year) of that unit. Simply put, Ray Lewis IS Baltimore football in the 21st century.

2. Jonathan Ogden - I have no idea if Ogden was good or not. Literally, no clue. I am man enough to admit that when it comes to offensive lineman, I never even notice them. Sure, Jon Ogden played the role of Mountain of a Man Who Will Maul You Like a Grizzly Bear for a decade, but even Bruce Campbell did that at Maryland sometimes in between not being eligible/hurt. But hey, you don't go to the Pro Bowl eleventy billion times without being pretty good, nor do you get your named tossed around in the GOAT Left Tackle discussions (rare as they are), if you're just some 330 pound floater.

3. Ed Reed - Oh Edgerton. No one takes me from elation to conniption quicker than he does when he hawks the balls, takes it 30 yards downfield, and then tries to make a spectacular lateral because he can't leave well enough alone. Despite any of that nonsense, there's a reason why the re was a Play Like Ed Reed Today sign in 2201E Calvert Hall during the 2007 season - because Ed Reed is fucking awesome. He's the only man besides the top 2 to make the All-Pro team more than once (he's done it 7 times), and like Ray, he's won the DPOY. Who knows if this is the end of the line, but he will be in Canton someday.

4. Matt Stover - Matt Stover was Mr. Reliable. He was the last Cleveland Brown to play for the Ravens, and he last 14 seasons with the team. Then the Ravens let him go because, hey, he's 41, and it's not like the flying Anders(e/o)n brothers played until they were wearing dentures instead of mouthguards. This was, of course, immediately followed by Steve Hauschka, an NC State graduate, blowing every game last season. Matt Stover never did that. Or if he did, I have no recollection of it because there is no concourse level in football.

5. Peter Boulware - Remember this guy? This is the guy. He played for Florida State, back when they were awesome. He was a first round pick in 1997, a year after the Ravens got Ray and JO, cementing Ozzie Newsome's rep as a guy who is going to pwn the draft every year, except when Bizarro Ozzie Newsome kidnaps him pre-draft so as to select Travis Taylor. But I digress. Boulware made four Pro Bowls, back when such a thing meant...well it didn't really mean anything back then, either. But I'm sure Pete loved Hawaii. He also basically only played seven seasons before hanging it up. He's a few months older than Ray, and he was pretty much done by '03. Think about that.

6. Todd Heap - This is probably one of the few Ravens who could be described as "iconic" in the city. Heap has been with team for a decade now, never having played anywhere else. He managed to be the lone bright spot for years in a passing game which featured incompetent QBs and mediocre receivers. Looking over it a bit more, Heap's numbers have, by and large, been a bit less than I remembered. He's had four seasons in his career where he recorded 403 yards or fewer, and that aside, he's never been a great pass blocker. He's also arguably not the best Raven from his school (Arizona State). Which leads us to....

7. Terrell Suggs - TSizzle is, all things considered, not a very good nickname. But at this point, does anyone NOT call him that? There all seems to be some drama following TSizzle. Terrell is holding out. Terrell is giving Tom Brady a cheap shot. Terrell is committing felony assault. Well, you know what, Terrell has 58 career sacks and Terrell is a specimen. Give him another year or two and I'll definitely have him ahead of Heap. He probably should be there already, but give me a break, I didn't actually compile the list before writing the entries, ya dig?

8. Derrick Mason - So he makes the list, I guess. He's actually been here for six years. If this were baseball, and he were, well, let's just say more like David Eckstein, he'd probably be described as gritty. I'm pretty sure he went out there one week with two broken arms, possibly in traction, and hauled in 8 balls just through sheer force of will. Does anyone even remember that he was a Titan? Or that the Titans were probably near as hated around these parts as the Steelers were back then? Now they don't even rate. How soon we forget about that January 2004 playoff game.

9. Jamal Lewis - He had a 2,000 yard season. His legs kept moving. He also went to jail for a criminal fucking conspiracy for helping the New Day Co-Op slang that ye-yo. He kinda didn't do a ton outside of that one season. That's not entirely fair given that he had two more 1300 yard seasons and another over 1,000 in just 12 games. But his career petered out here pretty quickly before he went to Cleveland where he did have a brief rennaissance before playing poorly for the remained of his career. Such is the life of the Modern American Running Back.

10. Chris McAlister - I don't think I've ever made a secret about not really being a huge fan of McAlister's. But he's on here for a few reasons. For one thing, the Ravens D needed at least one more player, and he's one of the few remaining guys who had a long enough tenure here to merit mentioning. For another, he was damned good, even if his occasional boneheaded plays made me angry. Plus I mainly shied away from giving him any props because my dad sang his praises like he was the fucking offspring of Jim Henson and Dick "Night Train" Lane. Yeah, I get it dad, you want to marry him. Chris should probably be ahead of the two guys he's behind if not for that, but hey, them's the breaks. I would give at least three fingernails to see him rather than some of the turds we've trotted out at DB in then recent past.

HONORABLE MENTION: Haloti Ngata, Kelly Gregg, Michael McCrary, Rod Woodson, Adalius Thomas

DISHONORABLE MENTION: Travis Taylor, Mark Clayton, Steve Hauschka, That One Fat White POS Lineman Who I Can't Remember, Mike Carey

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT

Guess Who's Back

back again? Scrillas back. Tell a friend.

So I was just thinking today that I need to bring this here weblog back into production, and the OWL goes and makes a post. Coincidence or sign from the blog writing gods?

It's been upwards of seven months since last we blogged. A lot has changed since...ah fuck it, nothing has changed. We're all still saying things. Maryland suffered one of the worst things to ever happen of all time in March. I'm pretty sure I promised a blog post about that at some point, but I'm still in no mood to revisit that. Greivis deserved better.

The Terps came back to win the Atlantic Division just one year after going 2-10. Now some of you might say that's a bit presumptuous given that all the Terps have this season is a tight win over Navy and a rout of Morgan State, but it would be tough to argue that the Terps aren't on pace to go 14-0. It's definitely probable that they'll lose once on their way to the ACC Championship Game, but for now, 12-0 is a possibility.

And speaking of championship caliber teams, how bout dem O's? The Buck came aboard and suddenly the Orioles are playing like gangbusters! Or maybe it's ghostbusters. I'm pretty sure a rotation of Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and That Other Guy could have beaten the Diamond Dave Orioles or even the Juan Samuel "Screech" Powers edition. (By the way I almost referred to both Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd as "Tom Hanks". That's about as bad as calling Rob "owl" or referring to a bus as a computer).

But yeah, that's pretty neat. I'm kinda rambling right now because I'm excited to bring this back. I'm going to have a long ass post on the Wire sometime very soon, just because. And partially to bait turd back into posting something on here. Also on the docket is Bob's finished post about whatever the fuck it was that had something to do with Landon Milbourne that was going to be epic before he totally crapped the bed on it. Also maybe Andrew can rewrite his pretzel post to include the crab pretzel.

Coincidence: Unlikely

Wandering around Borders Books yesterday, I came across this guy...

Now, I'm not saying anything. But all I could think about was this...

and this...

and certainly this...

Now, I know his death is still in fairly recent memory, but, did you SEE the cover and title of that book? Lolz.